Romney, Colbert, and Deep Space Nine

The Colbert Report
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On the August 31st edition of The Colbert Report, Colbert shared his thoughts on Mitt Romney's nomination acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention. After several media commentators described Romney's speech as "solid," Colbert concluded that Romney himself is solid.

"Yes, we can all agree that Mitt Romney is a solid. Matter cannot pass through him, and he does not conform to the shape of his container. Folks, solid was all Mitt needed to be."

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine immediately came to mind. As fans may recall, "solid" is a pejorative term that Changelings (a race of shapeshifters) use to refer to humanoids. It then occurred to me ... if this were the Star Trek universe, Mitt Romney would have just lost the Changeling vote! Suddenly, a political ad came to mind.


(On screen: video clips of several news commentators describing Romney's speech as "solid.")

NARRATOR: Mitt Romney is a well-known solid, and a bad choice for America. Romney's campaign platform includes cuts to Jem'Hadar defense spending and reduced subsidies for Ketracel White.

(On screen: image of Jem'Hadar soldiers flying into a psychotic frenzy.)

NARRATOR: Worse, he has ties to morphophobic campaign donors who want to criminalize linking.

(On screen: video of angry preacher shouting from pulpit, "God created marriage to be between one man and one woman! Not two gelatinous globs! If linking is legalized, next we'll have shapeshifters wanting to marry millions of other shapeshifters and form a huge ocean!)

(On screen: video of fundamentalist protesters holding signs that read "God Hates Shifters" and "God Made Adam and Eve, Not Odo and Laas!")

NARRATOR: Mitt Romney: the wrong choice for Dominion voters.

FEMALE VOICE: I'm the Female Changeling, and I approved this message.