Creators of "The Art of Marriage" Appear on Huckabee

Last evening on Fox News' Huckabee, Mike Huckabee interviewed Dennis and Barbara Rainey, founders of FamilyLife and creators of "The Art of Marriage" workshop. (Click here if you're having trouble viewing the video.)



At the 2:11 mark, Dennis Rainey discusses his vision of family, which he limits to heterosexual couples:

"I think God designed children to be raised by a mom and a dad in a committed relationship called marriage. It's where truth is taught, love is learned, and when a mom and dad are committed in a marriage relationship that goes the distance over a lifetime, I think that family unit becomes the cornerstone of a civilization. And frankly, it's a part of the impact of the breakdown of the family today all across the country. I think our country is in serious trouble because of what's happening in homes."

At the 4:05 mark, after Huckabee asks what she's taught her husband during their marriage, Barbara Rainey discusses her belief in innate gender characteristics:

"The main thing I've had to teach him, which is what I think every wife has to do, is how to speak the language of a woman, because he is a man, and I think very differently than he does as a man, and I think it's true in every marriage. I think like a woman, he thinks like a man, and part of the art of marriage is learning to appreciate our differences, and how we blend together to really produce a better union together than we would individually, apart. So I think the overarching lesson is how to speak woman."

The Art of Marriage, Part II

Click here to return to Part I.

After watching two videos sessions of "The Art of Marriage", I reflected on what I'd just seen. It goes without saying that "The Art of Marriage" was intended for a heterosexual Christian audience, since same-sex couples were neither shown nor discussed. What surprised me, however, was that much of the first two videos seemed to be geared toward a male audience. On-the-street segment notwithstanding, nearly all of the speakers in the video were men. When women did speak at length in the video (either as actresses playing characters or as real people), they did so as part of a couple. I thought it was odd that a program intended by definition for a mixed gender audience would take this approach.

I was troubled by the video's antipathy toward divorce and what I felt was a disregard for personal happiness. Chronic unhappiness in a relationship is a sign that something is wrong, and if the unhappiness persists, it can drain the vitality from a person's life.While I agree that people should try diligently to work through problems in relationships, sometimes couples are simply incompatible, and divorce is the most reasonable option. Major problems such as chronic infidelity may throw into question whether a relationship is salvageable. Moreover, dangerous problems such as domestic abuse require a completely different approach, one that prioritized the abused partner's safety and means of escape over preservation of the marriage.

"The Art of Marriage" stressed Christian faith as the foundation of a successful marriage. I can see how being on the same page spiritually can be an asset for couples, but at times, I felt that the program was expecting too much from religious piety. What happens, I wonder, if a married couple has different expressions of their faith, or if one partner loses their faith? What if problems are so deeply entrenched that well-meaning religious faith cannot change them? Does the Biblical admonishment to avoid being "unevenly yoked" ever come into play?

The Art of Marriage, Part I

Last month, I posted on a Christian marriage workshop to be held in central Pennsylvania called "The Art of Marriage." Created by FamilyLife and sponsored by the Pennsylvania Family Institute, "The Art of Marriage" became a source of controversy because Chik-Fil-A was reportedly sponsoring the event as well. Members of the LGBT and progressive blogosphere were unhappy that Chik-Fil-A was reportedly co-sponsoring an event with Pennsylvania Family Institute, a right-wing group that promotes the "traditional family." In an article at the Christian Post, Pennsylvania Family Institute president Michael Geer insisted that Chik-Fil-A was merely donating food for the event.

"The Art of Marriage" debuted this weekend at churches in Camp Hill and Reading, PA, and I attended the first night of the event (February 11th) at Christian Life Assembly in Camp Hill, PA. I attended the workshop not because of Chik-Fil-A (which was not mentioned at all while I was there), but because I wanted to hear what messages about marriage, gender, and religion would be promoted.

FamilyLife, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ, offers relationship guidance to Christian couples. I have already written on some of the disconcerting messages about gender and homosexuality found at the FamilyLife website, some of which were reflected in "The Art of Marriage" workshop videos. After watching two of the six video modules and perusing "The Art of Marriage" workbook, I found that the program contained both healthy and unhealthy advice. While the program does promote positive relationship elements such as good communication and intimacy, it does so within a heteronormative, patriarchal framework that expects religious faith to do a lot of heavy lifting.

Chik-Fil-A and the Art of Marriage

The LGBT blogosphere has been abuzz about Chik-Fil-A's role in a marriage workshop being sponsored by the right-wing Pennsylvania Family Institute. Chik-Fil-A is an openly Christian fast food franchise, and the Pennsylvania Family Institute is a conservative organization promoting "traditional" marriage and family. On January 3rd, Good As You reported that Chik-Fil-A and the Pennsylvania Family Institute were co-sponsoring an event called "The Art of Marriage" in Camp Hill and Reading, PA. Several progressive blogs and news websites weighed in, including Change.org, Lez Get Real, and the Advocate. The following day, Joe.My.God noted that the Pennsylvania Family Institute's website no longer listed Chik-Fil-A as a sponsor, although the fast food chain is still listed as a source of food for the event.

In an article at the Christian Post, Pennsylvania Family Institute president Michael Geer stated that Chik-Fil-A is not sponsoring "The Art of Marriage," insisting that local Chik-Fil-A restaurants were simply trying to be "good neighbors" by providing food for the event. (Hat tip to Towleroad.)

Now that the controversy surrounding Chik-Fil-A is calming down, I'd like to focus on "The Art of Marriage" itself. Since "The Art of Marriage" will be held in my neck of the woods, I plan to listen in and blog afterwards about the workshop's themes, barring any bad weather.